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Tuesday, February 9th, 2010
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2:28 am - It's Not Personal.
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Someone asks a question, and I spiral, thought-wise into feeling-wise (and not so wise).
Don't let it fool you, I just like to analyse, dissect, display. Don't let it fool me, I'd never be a good scientist. Walking back just now, the snow fell most ungracefully in clumps, hitting the ground with a hiss, dissolving into dirt water. I looked at it and wanted to write that it is beautiful, that the street lamps illuminate the ice crystals, and when it gets into our eyes it blinds us with the refraction and ephemeral beauty... but I can't say that without feeling like a liar any longer. The snow is falling, and maybe, Priska says, that is all there is to it. I'm sorry, but any more is locked away inside myself, even I can't seem to find it no matter how I sinfully introspect.
Sometimes I dig deep, to find more and more of myself; to make more out of this universe than what it presents me with - I am by nature a discontent soul. The irony is that when you've found all there is to be found, it becomes time to look elsewhere, or else you risk missing the answer you are looking for.
And this is why I have grown to love structure and I must learn to look outwards and write outwards, even though it isn't in my nature. It keeps me safe for another day.
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| Monday, February 8th, 2010
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11:54 pm - procastination
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Haha I never thought the day would come when I'd voluntarily read and love a Frost poem. Halfway through re-writing my research paper outline... kind of lost my train of thought amongst ebay Clocky searchings, Asos wanderings, Old Dutch Pancake Monday Madness eatings, so what's one poem more? It's a PRETTY ONE, too!
The Freedom of the Moon
By Robert Frost (1874 - 1963)
I’ve tried the new moon tilted in the air
Above a hazy tree-and-farmhouse cluster
As you might try a jewel in your hair.
I’ve tried it fine with little breadth of luster,
Alone, or in one ornament combining
With one first water-star almost as shining.
I put it shining anywhere I please.
By walking slowly on some evening later
I’ve pulled it from a crate of crooked trees,
And brought it over glossy water, greater,
And dropped it in, and seen the image wallow,
The color run, all sorts of wonder follow.
I'm having trouble waking up these days, any time before 9am even with 9 hours of sleep. I told Elly I find it impossible to wake up and I was googling sleep disorders and she told me not to be lazy hahahaha I love you Elly (: Yarrhh let's call a spade a spade, huh. Hahahaha.
current music: Sigur Ros-ish stuff.
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| Saturday, February 6th, 2010
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2:42 pm - still just at clouds.
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I've looked at clouds from both sides now,
From up and down, and still somehow
It's cloud illusions i recall.
I really don't know clouds at all
I love my new desktop!
Got up slo late today, booo... going to the Wellcome Trust and then V-day practice! Stuff memories down your throat, Faith!!!
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